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What if you compared yourself only to you?

I feel moved to do a community service announcement of sorts to all the women out there whom wonder:

“Am I good enough?”

“Can I do this?”

“What will they think?”

“Why is this so hard?”

“If only I was more like her”

“Maybe I’m just not cut out for it”

Turns out Ladies, it’s bloody difficult trying to be someone else, trying to do what you think is ‘right’, trying to fit into the confines of the box society sets.

Thing is though, we don’t need to be anyone else, we don’t need to taunt ourselves with which decision is the ‘right’ decision, and this box we think society has set, is in fact a box we’ve set ourselves, worse still, it’s one we choose to keep ourselves in thinking we’re trapped, ‘That’s just life’.

You know that saying, “The teacher comes when the student is ready?”, I must have been ready, because not so long ago I saw something I’d never seen before. Growing up, I heard stories of this fable, over the years, I’ve even met people who claimed they’d seen ‘it’, better still I met someone who told me the key to seeing ‘it’. What is this ‘it’ I’m referring too? The ‘it’ is the door out of this box in which we think we must work, live and function within. The door in my minds eye almost has a secret garden like nature about it, it’s there, hidden behind the overgrown foliage, somewhere on the boundary’s permitter, but in order to find it I’d need the help of my very own Mad Hatter and White Queen to show the way.

Now why would one want to be able to see this door, what’s on the other side you ask? On the other side is liberation, freedom of thought, self conviction and childlike flight and fancy. It’s pure love and light, peace and calm, support and nurturing. Everything is smooth and easy on the other side, it’s quite, there’s no white noise – there’s no ego chattering away in your mind cutting your dreams, goals or visions off at the knees, there’s only harmony and cool summer breezes.

Now stick with me here, by the end of this announcement you too will have the key to use [if you choose] to release the ties that bind.

It was Spring of 1999 and I had completed all of my VCE [final year exams for High School], the late nights, tears, cursing, excitement and roller coaster of emotions had played out as I zigged and zagged my way through to graduation – and it was on this day that my Results arrived in the mail [pre the days of online notification].

I sliced the envelope open, pulled out the crisp A4 page that would seal my fate for eternity and beyond [as my 18 year old self thought] and on it, not only did it confirm I had passed, my hard work had payed off, but that my favourite subject of all, Graphic Design awarded me straight A+’s the highest honour I could achieve.

With the guidance of my Dad’s artistic input over the years I was bursting at the seams to tell him the news, to give him reason to be proud, to show him that all those late nights, leaving things to the last minute and doing what the teacher wanted earned me top marks. I passed him the paper, with barely a change in his expression what he said next would etch itself into the tapestry of my being. He replied with, “Good, but you know you could have done better.”. In that moment I was floored, was he looking at the same piece of paper that I was. I retorted with, “Dad that’s the highest mark you can get, you can’t get any higher.” thinking he’d missed something. His reply, “I know, but you could have done better for yourself.”…

For a good decade those words silently grated at my being, thinking, that in my Dad’s eyes I could never be ‘enough’. It was but a few months before my Dad passed away I learnt the cryptic message of his fateful words that Spring of ’99. He wasn’t saying I wasn’t good enough, nor was he saying I shouldn’t bother trying; instead he was saying was, I must only compare myself, to me. Compare yourself to no one. Seek to be like no one else. Think like no one else. Instead, Compare, Be and Think like yourself, be driven to be the best version of you possible, put in the time and commitment needed to better the person you where yesterday and the results of the gift you share with the world.

It’s true, the effort and energy I was putting into those High School results where for everyone external of me. I wasn’t doing it for me, I was doing for the teachers, the exam board, the Government officials, for my parents. I did just what I needed in order to get by for their requirements of me, not those I set of myself.

Dad was never one for scores, accolades, acknowledgements or opinions – why would you be when none of those support the internal drive to simply outdo the PB you set yesterday. He was an eccentric, a genius and an innovator in everything he did. The Legacy he’s left on this physical plane, the revelations, solutions and progress made is because he knew nothing but how to be a round plug in a world filled with square holes.

Today I continue his Legacy; Ladies from this moment forth, affirm it in every fibre of your being to only ever compare yourself to yourself, and seek not to meet the Jones’ but to outdo your own PB from yesterday. Here you will find harmony, cool summer breezes and the liberation to Be and Think as only you uniquely can. Own that. Own who you are. Own the gift of life you have and create a ripple, a legacy, for those whose paths you cross.

Do what only you can do.

Own the eccentricities you have.

Wear the clothes that make you feel great, in whatever colour or pattern ‘rule breaking’ combination they may be.

Share your message with the world, your Tribe will soon find you.

 

Be you, and be bloody good at it. [As defined only by you]

 

The Global community is picking up what your putting down, let this post be the catalyst for stepping into your own light. Here’s to the crazy ones…

September 28, 2015

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